| its steadily creeping up on the family,exactly how many days we got lasting..we're passinpassin away |
[Aug. 9th, 2008|10:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indifferent | ] |
| [ | jams |
| | crossroads, i wish. | ] |
i'm at the UC club..or i guess 'c' stands for club...anyways, myspace is blocked, like i'm at school! ridiculous. its also ridiculous i still have any addiction towards myspace, i've only had a profile since i was 15. oddly enough, i'm having withdrawls.
so we're stopped at the club on our way up to PA, my last chunk of the east coast before i head back to the new mexico and will probably have a very long delay from ever writing in this again. school starts up, UNM-taos...i want to be excited but there just isnt anything to get excited for. my dad just made me meet some guy. except i didnt meet him, he only met me, whats up with that? i guess i don't particularly care. howie can't remember any of my friends, so why should i really make an effort to remember his. i do hate meeting these prestigious squash players who spend hundreds of dollars each month to be a member of this fancy chichi club. thank god for them,though, since they pay my dad in the long run and that's the only reason i'll (he'll) be able to afford UNM-taos' hefty tuition.
this trip so far has been successful. i spent a fair amount of time with hank, using Scrufeece, listening to chiodos or the fall of troy. he is probably the one person who i will always listen to and always trust. brittany and jessica were practically daily, first brittany and then jess, later, after she worked. i blazed with not only her but some people from my past that i swore i'd never,ever be friends with again. breaking promises, especially to yourself, is easy. i met a funny boy that lives in my old house, who shocked me with his creative submarine piece, and my dad found out i smoked cigarettes by reading yachinich's message in my yearbook ("quit smokin them cigarettes!"). my sister introduced me to her latest trick (i'm kidding, of course), i suffered but lived through hell in gainsville with the most judgemental and irritating man alive. i dined more than anyone really needs to but while waiting for meals, caught up with friends that i didnt realize i missed so much until they're sitting right across from me. and although we've all changed so much we can still relate, find common ground, break through awkwardness. tyler is the best example of that: it only took a half hour before he was back to mocking my toes and telling me how big of a crush he had on me when we were 13. i told him i always liked him too, although i dont think i ever admitted it to myself or anyone else until that moment. now, we are totally, 100% different,complete opposites... but friends all the same, still, after two years without speaking.
i have, surprisingly for not being excited at all, enjoyed my trip in the humidity. my ears will hurt on the way home to taos and when i get there, everyone will be gone, and all my fears and problems with boys and the like will be waiting for me. (i so need to find a NEW job.) but soon it will just be the past and hopefully i'll be able to go to a restuarant and sit across from that stupid native and we will talk about why we could never talk. or maybe with that stupid 23 year old ginger and i'll tell him all the shit i didnt and ask him why he fucked with me if he could have had that other 18 year old, ridiculously pretty veronica silva? and i'll give him that CD i made for him with "buddah lovaz" on it, and "superstar punani","garden of evil," "she doesn't get it", "please me like you want to,"...that cd i made with the songs that we listened to together, the songs he played for me, the songs with lyrics that remind me of him and everything he did or said and all the confusion he created. and maybe i'll see everett when i get back, at nuri's birthday or at another party, and we'll make our way to some deserted area and he'll make me forget about those other two, those guys who knew how to treat me right, but only half the time. and maybe it wont be so confusing after a while, maybe it will mean nothing, maybe my stomach won't sink when i remember how much i liked that stupid ginger and that equally stupid native, and how i fucked it up for myself, practically on purpose.
only time will tell.
now, on to phili in the overly expensive bright red acura hatchback... |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2008|04:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | jams |
| | none? | ] |
gainesville is a very simple and redundant place. stephanie and her family have moved out of humble sposty --or humbler-- and moved into an old folk's commnuity. every house looks exactly alike, and they don't stray more than 10 feet from each other. it's weird. i know this is the norm these days on this end of the country, or just about anywhere besides taos, but it's really weirding me out. the house they live in, surprisingly, is really nice. they have a basement, two "family rooms," a living room, a loft (where i am right now), and of course 4 bedrooms. i hate to admit i'm impressed by how squeaky clean and new everything is. i totally am. the only downside is the location.
steph is in the shower and i am sitting here wishing this family wasn't so smoke free so i could have a cigarette, or even sneak one, but naturally i forgot a lighter and the chances of coming across one here, or perhaps some matches, are ridiculously slim if not impossible. i made up for not smoking by running a mile on their treadmill. i felt pretty badass, until i realized that once upon a time i could 4 or 5 miles, and now i can barely make 1. pretty sad...still i'd do just about anything for my nicotine fix. hank has converted me and my cigarette choice. it's weird how i have gotten used to spending time with him and now find it weird to be in VA and not be hanging around him. these two days are brutal, way more so then i thought. i used to love coming to steph's, hanging out with her family. now i have almost no idea what i was thinking, getting trapped here for 2 nights and 3 days. am i insane? stupid?
i miss taos. i mean, i don't miss all the issues...lawrence,tom,everett...but i miss my friends sooo much, and the basic fact that by the time i return they'll all be gone depresses me. i should be excited for them, all going to abq in pursuit of unm, but instead i'm mostly envious and also sad.
i have reunited with my livejournal. steph is done showering, but maybe i'll come back again later. |
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| hotdamn! |
[Mar. 14th, 2007|11:45 am] |
| [ | jams |
| | nuri has my ipod. | ] |
I GOT MY LICENSE!
(last friday.) |
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| please please please let me get what i want this time. |
[Feb. 6th, 2007|01:36 pm] |
| [ | jams |
| | the smiths and some "blue in the face" | ] |
block Tuesdays suckkk. i'm so bored i changed around my livejournal. but only mildly. i am enjoying the adventures of huckleberry finn, but also wondering if i should have read it already, like in middle school or something. my grades seem to be improving. things are good on my end but not so good for my mom. apparently, valerie is just being a world class bitch. my ma says it's so bad that she'd rather work at a grocery store. and speaking of, i'm applying for this job at Cid's, the local organic hippie market. i guess i'll be bagging groceries, if i happen to acquire said job. and a car!! my mom actually said she would buy me a car. of course, used. very used. but it doesn't even matter. either way, things are not going well with my mom and valerie. she's making my mother write a manual. seriously. what kind of task is that? it's ridiculous. i think i would need a manual on how to write a manual if i had to write a manual.
enough gibberish for now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|12:51 pm] |
| [ | jams |
| | "now that you're home" and "penny on the train track" | ] |
i suddenly had the urge to end this very long break from livejournal and type some sort of boring entry.
valerie banned beloved goober and the locals want to start a petition to get her back.
my german friend, christian, just gave me two orange tic-tacs.
today, a gay kid told me i should "be a lesbian." i think i accidentaly gave him a dirty look.
nojail!(again.)
my dad's birthday is coming this week and he wants a book on tape... [KATRINA. you and hank should get on that. it's basically impossible out here and would take a trip to santa fe, which we don't have time for.]
i'm getting my license in just a few weeks, if i have no deficiencies.(exception: geometry.)!
whoa exciting. |
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| BAH! |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|10:06 am] |
| [ | jams |
| | "trouble breathing" | ] |
I hate snow and blizzards and Denver and stupid postponed flights and waiting until Christmas Eve!
Mallory check your email! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 29th, 2006|01:06 pm] |
it snowed a good few inches before school this morning.
but we didn't get out.
i'm beginning to wonder what the point of snow is if it doesn't get you out of school!
plus, it reminds me of things i don't want to be reminded of.
i do enjoy watching goober prance about in it. she seems to think it's the most exciting thing since we gave her a stuffed toy.
blahh. |
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| visciouscounterpoperosionrevolution101 !!! |
[Nov. 15th, 2006|01:00 pm] |
| [ | jams |
| | "drop kick the punks" and "sink florida sink" | ] |
this song is just amazing! although i am curious if it is a cover or not. i enjoy putting random stuff i rarely listen to on my ipod just so i can discover it during a session of shuffling. then i can't stop listening to it. "NEATO" haaaa. today i took a very hard english test on the federalist papers, deism and puritanism, and Martin Luther King Jr. i don't think i did so well on it. i think i might be bringing my geometry grade up some, though...which is good. I HATE THIS CLASS because the teacher is making me do all of these things i've already learned, like typing business letters and reports.
i'm very bored.
i think i'm going to check my email or something. |
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| leave behind my problems. |
[Nov. 8th, 2006|01:12 pm] |
| [ | jams |
| | "the compromise" and "tick" and "cavalier eternal" | ] |
so at 4:30PM, december 21st, i am departing from albequerque!
i'm taking behind the wheel over winter break so that when i come back i can get a car and start driving everywhere.
i'm visiting lindsay.
on friday, i have to give a persuasive speech for mrs. paul and i am terrified.
today's been good so far though.
i met this boy named caleb who loves goober almost as much as i do.
he's nice and my mother thinks he's just oh so polite.
although, i'm feeling kind of sick today. i'm looking forward to going home. but not the bus.
i've started to read the Fellowship of the Ring and i feel like an ultimate nerd.
but my mother insists!
so i have dreams about the Lord of the Rings all the time now. this is what you get when you read stuff like that before bedtime. weird dreams.
WORD PROCESSING IS MY FAVORITE. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2006|02:57 pm] |
| [ | jams |
| | the elevator music my mom insists on playing in the store. | ] |
IT'S SNOWING!
I can't believe it! |
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